It’s tough starting over when all you want to do is relive the life you had that seemed so perfect not long ago. The memories you had with that special loved one, friends, family, begins to fade as you grow older. Growing old always suck even at the age of 19. You make mistakes, you get your heart broken (which may not be once but multiple times), you lose someone that has meant the world to you, saying goodbye to a best friend. With time you’ll get over it, it may take a day, it make take a year, you just need to learn to accept whatever that has happened to you was meant to be, and maybe something good will come out of it. You can’t always see that the world being against you, if you do, you’re basically asking a life of lonliness. All you could do is try and hope.
It may be really hard, but thats what I plan to do.
So first goodbye to one of my good friends that I have known since 1st grade was tonight; farewell Jason. Today, I basically hung out with my bros, the guys that I have known since elementary with the exception of mike, had take out from this delicious japanese/thai place in our area and ate at the dinner table. I enjoyed it a lot, listening to the guys talk/ crack jokes. It’s probably the reason why I get a long with dudes more than chicks because chicks gossip and bitch…all the time. Even though the night was really mello, it was kind of relaxing not stressing, but more trying to handle one of my good guy friends leaving.
It’s really starting to hit me how all my friends are going to be leaving one by one and it sucks to be one of the last ones to go. I must say, it was weird saying goodbye cause as lame as this might sound, it didn’t really seem like I was saying goodbye. I feel like I am going to wake up tomorrow and go to his house where I will see him jamin in his garage, but I know I won’t. I got home tonight with intentions to sleep seeing as I have to get up early to go into the city, but instead, I have been working on a goodbye video that I plan on posting for my friends as a kind of ‘remember when we looked awkward?…look at us now, we are still awkward but going to college!’ type deal.
Well I should probably hit the hay now. A lot of video editing needs to be done and I have to try and get some good nigths rest.
I hope to have killer dreams tonight…maybe I will dream inside of my dream and spin my totum and realize im dreaming and try to wake up but i cant cause im in that lost world…..
So it really has been awhile since I’ve actually taken the time to do something on this thing. It seems that summer is ending so fast and the time where I pack up and leave the suburbs is coming way too quick. It kind of makes me want to cry sometimes, but the last thing I want to do is get emotional while typing this thing. Plus, it takes a lot for me to cry. Got back from the Dominican Republic last Friday and the overall experiance was oodles of fun. I don’t think there was a day where I didn’t drink, but I think the best part of the vacation was spending it with my best friend who I can basically call my sister. I missed my boyfriend, friends, and family though. I think that was the only downside. If i could I would pack them all into my suitcase. Fuck clothes. But we all know thats impossible. I met two people that go to the same university I will be attending to in the fall which was cool. Hopefully I won’t feel as lost when I start classes. Knowing people deffinetly helps and calms my nerves.
Getting ready for college is so depressing, but I guess we all have to suck it up and deal with it. Tough life.
P.S excuse the choppy-ness of this post. I promise the next one will be better and not be so rushed.