"In the beginning I was up front Nothing to think about, you’d always hear me out We made a pact to never give up When everything would change, we’d always stay the same Something went wrong along the way You’d come around and there’s nothing left to say It’s like we’re strangers anyway, what more could you ask of me It’s been a long time coming, but everyones gonna hear me now
If I leave, bet you’ll wish I’d stayed Make you regret all the things you said to me You know that time can’t help us now, If I leave this, if I leave this way.”
I’m sorry. I truly am that it ended this way. We let it end terribly when we had no intension to. At the end, you did not want to end it on a bad note and we were friends for sometime, but we could not prevent hurting each other down the line and it ended with harsh words said to one another. You hurt me, there’s no doubt. You did not care at all that you took my heart and just smashed it into pieces. You have made me strong and I thank you for that. Our past relationship has made me become a better person. The only thing I miss is our friendship. I miss talking to you on a daily basis, about anything and you would listen and understand. You told me everything. I guess I just miss the best friend that I had. I guess our intimate relationship ruined it. What’s funny is sometimes I hope that maybe if we were meant to be friends or if you missed me the same way I miss you, you would reach out. We haven’t talked in soo long and the other day, I texted you by accident and it was nice to hear from you even if it was a few text messages back and forth about how I was just going to the gym (whoops, my bad). Your humor seemed as if it didn’t change and I miss that about you. I have done nothing, but move on with my life since we stopped talking and I am going to continue doing so. You of all people know that I won’t stop my life for anyone, being the independent person that I am. If ever you see this, which I doubt you will, I just wanted to say I miss you and I only hope the best for you, no matter what you do, or who you’re with. I hope you won’t forget the memories we have shared together because I know that, even if those memories of us together are buried deep in the back of my mind, I won’t forget them. Maybe with time and faith, we can become friends again…just maybe.
"I’ve gone for too long living like I’m not alive So I’m going to start over tonight Beginning with you and I When this memory fades I’m gonna make sure it’s replaced With chances taken Hope embraced And have I told you
I’m not going cause I’ve been waiting for a miracle And I’m not leaving I won’t let you Let you give up on a miracle When it might save you
We’ve learned to run from Anything uncomfortable We’ve tied our pain below and no one ever has to know That inside we’re broken I tried to patch things up again To cut my tears and kill these fears And have I told you, Have I..
I’m not going Cause I’ve been waiting for a miracle And I’m not leaving I won’t let you Let you give up on a miracle Cause it might save you
background: Sooo Corinn was told to play this game online by Torrean, Mj, and Bryan. Little did she know that they were recording her as she was playing. The reason why she was being recorded is because whenever Corinn is high, she acts retarted. And that is the truth.
Its 2:03 am and I am writing this post via my iPhone in the dark. My roommate is asleep and I kinda wish I was in her position right now, but I’m not quite tired. Kids on our floor are playing some dodgeball game and it’s kind of annoying because even though they are trying to be quite, it’s not working out.
I spent today hanging with the family and it was a day I thoroughly enjoyed. We spent the day looking at cars at dealerships and then we got dinner. The best part of dinner was my nana allowed the fact that I can get a tattoo! I’m so stoked on that idea, but I still have to hide if from my dad who is still against the idea of “harming” my body with needles. Now I’m at school wishing I was still in my own bed. I don’t want to get up tomorrow, it’s going to suck. I found out so many things as soon as I got back. Nick is going to be in a featured film… so basically my friend is a famous actor. I’m so happy his dream is coming true; he definitely deserves it. The only thing I’m jealous about is he is moving to L.A in may to fulfill his career. All on his own, no parents… I give him so much credit.
I’m starting to rush this post… I’m getting tired with each word I type…I just hope I get my life on the roll as nick has. I know what I want to do… I just have to get a move on. companies are looking for interns in April so I have to resubmit my resume… ughhhhhhh well this post is blehhh and I’m going to end it on that note.
So last night I showed my dad a grey saturn roadster that was a convertable (two -seater..yeah, Im fancy, I know). I thought to myself, maybe if I showed it to him since its the only car I have looked at that was a car and not a truck, he would buy it. My father and I are looking for a new car, a new car for me. I have been mainly looking at Jeeps because thats mahhh dream car, but my dad is soo against me driving a SUV. I don’t know what he is deal is. When I brought it to him, he didn’t say anything, but how nice it was and how it cost a lot of money. Well that idea was shot down…or atleast I thought it was. Today, at dinner with the family, my nana brings up how they went to the dealer to BUY the car, but you know what happens with my luck…SOMEONE BOUGHT THE ONE I WANTED….douchbags. My nana and my father went to the dealer while I was at work and it wasn’t there. I look at my dad, who was looking at me and I go, ” I don’t believe you.” My nana knows better to lie to me about this, and boy she was not lying and neither was my dad when they told me. EPIC FAIL. So this means I am on square one….again. Whatever…moving on.
I want to be back in the city. I miss it…I really do. Damon called me awhile ago and he was at the after party for the glad awards. He met Liz from MTV’s My Life As Liz and I love that show. When he called me, “Low” by Flo-rida was clearly playing in the background. I danced while he talked to me…not like I could understand what he was saying anyways. I was 1. singing along to the song. 2. dancing. 3 bummed by the fact I was not with him at this after party. I need to start staying the city, but I also want to make $$$$$. The only reason I am home most of the time is to see Bridget, family, and work. My life is so interesting! …-_-
Saint Patricks day was sick. The parade could have been better though…I thought I was going to see floats, but no..it was just people walking. So the only reason for the parade was for people to get drunk together. Walking by the pubs was interesting too. I didn’t realize how many there were until yesterday…sooo many irish people. I had an entire Sky Vodka bottle to myself…uh huh, you know i do it big. I still have some half of it left over wikiii wikiii. I gotta admit, I’m kinda glad I decided to stay in the city. There is so much I can do and I get to spend it with the people above and I can easily go home. <3 I don’t know why I thought it was such a big deal before. I’m glad I got used to the whole city vibe. I just want my own apartment now with my friends. My friends and I have to go apartment hunting soon. I cant wait.
This passed week has been really hard being in Flemington. I love this town to death, but with the recent death of Kevin Gilbert, it had been sad being here. For a young kid to die unexpectedly, impacted this community so much and Kevin had so much ahead of him too. His death affected the entire community, but it helped me realized how much people in this town are so caring. Wednesday, when are the kids at Central were to wear blue, I heard that the school was covered in blue and even driving around town, people were wearing blue. Crazzyy. Kevin Gilbert may you rest in peace.
There really isn’t any time for anyone to be sad and to live in what was. I feel like people are more focused on money or things that aren’t necessarily important. As lame as this sounds, life really is short. You never know when your life can be taken from you so its just best to live it. Focusing on what was or memories of people that are long gone, is just going to hurt you more. It’s best to enjoy your life and appreciate that you are still here, living the life you live.
Not going to lie…if this pack of cigarettes actually existed, I would smoke it; not to sound stereotypical, but I would. Good thing they don’t. Smoking cigs are lame.
In other news. Spring break for me is a day away seeing as I just have to get through a full day of classes tomorrow and I am home free. Too bad half of my friends will be going back to school by this weekend. It sucks that colleges spring breaks don’t all align with one another, but watcha gonna do. My goal for spring break though is to study and workworkwork. I have to. I want $ so I can shop some more then be poor again. Yay. Today was awesome. Ada, Ktak, and Alex came into the city so I hung out with them majority of the day. What I am really excited for is saint pattys; there’s no question about it, I have to spend it in the city. Shit is gonna be crazyyyyyy. less goooo
Is to sleep…it is 6:24am and I have not been able to get any sleep. I am just not tired at all. Maybe its the nap that I took yesterday from 2:30pm to 7:14pm that is screwing me over. My sister woke up to get ready for school, surprised to see that I was still awake. Then she proceeded to tell me how I had the t.v on too loud…oops. Oh well. So since I am not tired at all, I guess I’ll start my day now (it’s definitely going to be one long one), but I still have to wait till Bridget gets up to actually do something.
Gotta say…the only reason why this is in here is because my outfit is pretty awesome. Wearing 4.5 inch wedges, red hair, and long ass skirt mhmmm…not to sound cocky or anything …-____-
Nick is looking pretty good in the back, if I say so myself.
Maneka’s birthday dinner was soo much fun. After dinner though, we all started getting tired from all the food we ate. The best part was getting dressed up; I think thats the thing I found most exciting about going out with the gang…getting all dolled up. I never dress fancy for school. I usually just roll out of bed, put some black jeans on, and a shirt and call it a day. Taking the time to look pretty is too much of a long process so I save it for more of a special ocassion.
It is 4:28 am and I am back home in Jersey. I have work on Sat, but most of my friends are home so I am so stoked to be here. Just the week of it feeling like summer with everyone will make me happy. It’s what I need.
Today is Maneka’s Birthdayyyy!! Shout out to her. Tonight is going to be crazzyyy, I can’t wait. I have also decided I am going home tonight because Austin reminded me he was coming home tomorrow= that it is spring break for almost everyone of my friends. FRIENDS.HAPPINESS. I can’t wait.
I haven’t had the time to write in so long. School took over my life and I haven’t had enough sleep. I had a 30 minute nap today and that has been my first nap in a while. This weekend was pretty rad though. Went home, surprise, surprise. Hung out with my friends, ya know the usual. After work on Saturday though, I went back into the city. I just felt that it was the right thing to do and boy, was it. Knowing a club promter really helps one out, especially getting into a 21 and up club. My promoter, Ryan, decided to take us to Crimson; before we went, I remember hearing how hard it is to get into this club because it was so nice, but luckly, we got in easily. When we got there, we were in the VIP line and when everyone else in the other line were told to leave, we were allowed to stay. I loled. Got in, there was a red carpet and a photographer taking pictures and I honestly did not believe it. I wish I could find those pictures he took on their website because he took quite a few. My friends and I were able to go in the VIP lounge above the dance floor, with our own table and unlimited drinks all night. I just kept thinking how fancy I was. Then I heard the Situation from the Jersey Shore was in the VIP room on the otherside of the club. Some of my friends went to see him, but I was busy with something else.The night was an overall blast.